balance

How do we stop other people’s problems from becoming our own while still being available? How do you prevent yourself from dwelling on things that you can’t change? How can you make it easier for yourself to see other people make their own decisions - even when you don’t feel they are taking the advice they asked you for?

Is it possible?

 
I think we all struggle with this one. We all want to be there for the people we love, we want to see them live happy and fulfilled lives, and we want them to be as happy as we are!  

So how do we balance this? 
How do we prevent their challenges from becoming ours?

I think the first thing is to find out how much room you have available to lease out to someone’s problems. If your life is in order and your relationships are all being nourished properly you may have lots of empty space. On the other hand if half of your "rooms" are filled with guests like guilt, anger or doubt then you will need to work those out first to open up a spot. There is no way that something you’re guilty about should be bunking with someone else’s sadness.  

SO, sort out your own issues, or at least the big ones before trying to take on someone else's. 

Now that you have opened up some space in your mind you need to start setting up boundaries....you are leasing out space remember - not selling it! You first need to set up the boundaries within yourself, sit down with your soul and hear what she says. Your life is the first priority, more importantly YOU. You can’t be anything for anyone if you are not everything for YOU first! Not to be confused with being selfish or self absorbed, looking after your self means being at peace with all of the things in your life and making a conscious effort everyday to maintain that peace. Once you have set up those boundaries and find that balance it will be easier to be available to others in a healthy way.

Being a good listener is the next one. It is not easy. Not saying anything does not constitute a good listener. Hearing makes you a good listener. Being present makes you a good listener. Biting your tongue makes you a good listener.  If you really want to be a good listener you need to be available to hear what people are saying and more importantly you need to be available to hear what your soul is saying. I think that is why it is so important to listen to yourself first, if you get caught up listening to other peoples issues all the time you may end up drowning out your inner voice and neglect those things you need to deal with on a personal level. 

Allowing yourself to be wrong or not heard is another one. Being offended or hurt when someone doesn't take your advice is sometimes hard. I mean....they asked you for your input after all! Try to remember that there is a good chance that you are not the only person they are asking and that it is their decision. We are not all the same and we don't all want the same things out of life - and that is ok! So when someone is asking you for your opinion or advice - remember it is YOUR advice, YOUR opinion.....not necessarily right for them.

So, yes, I do think with a little effort, it is possible to be available to other people, to open up space in your world for a loved one needing a little help, to offer advice when asked, all the while keeping it from become your burden. 

Clean blueberry muffins

A beautiful Sunday morning, my husband is outside working in the yard, the screen doors are open and I can hear the birds chirping!  I was just starting to think about breakfast and if I should try the new turkey bacon I picked up or make these muffins.......the turkey bacon was frozen and I had all the necessary ingredients for this recipe - so muffins it is! I am always on the look out for easy nutritious breakfast ideas,  something that I can grab and go. Shakes are great, but sometimes I want to eat something; so when my girlfriend shared this clean recipe I knew it wouldn't be long before I made them! 

So here is what you need:

Dry

1 cup flour ( I used a gluten free blend with 1tsp of xathan gum)

1/2 cup oats

1/2 cup flax (ground)

1/2 tsp b. soda

1/2 tsp b. powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

Wet

1/2 cup honey

1/3 cup oil

1/2 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

2 cups blueberries

Mix dry ingredients together. Make a well and add the wet ingredients (less the blueberries). Mix by folding with wooden spoon. Add blueberries.

 Fill greased muffin tins 1/2 to 3/4 full. 

Bake 350 for 15 minutes OR Convection Bake 325 for 15 minutes.

 So these are fabulous! They passed the husband test with flying colors.....and he had no idea how healthy they are! I ended up making another batch and instead of blueberries I used raisins - they turned out great too! You can use nuts, cranberries or chocolate chips too and I think that I will experiment a little with recipe.... apple sauce or banana instead of the oil....and maybe just the egg whites, but even if I don't it is already a healthy, high fiber muffin.

Warning: something that serves to warn, give notice, or caution.

 

Sometimes in life we are lucky enough to get warnings. There are so many examples out there of “near misses” or “jeez, that could have been me” or “it could have been a lot worse”. Sometimes they are little nudges or whispers and if you aren't paying attention you'll miss them, and other times they are huge shoves....a punch in the face even, a sign that you can't ignore.

It is what you do with those warnings that matters.  

These warnings are not random either, everything that happens in this life is trying to tell you something, trying to guide you. You need to pay attention and you need to learn. 

It is easy to take things for granted when everything is going well. We are all guilty of taking our health for granted when we feel good, and even when we feel better we often begin to take it for granted once again.  

It is easy to coast along and soak in all the goodness in our lives. So often we don't plan for those "rainy days" and only when we are caught in an unexpected situation that we remind ourselves that we will start that nest egg so we are better prepared next time.

It is easy to be impulsive, irresponsible and carefree when things are good. When someone dies we all take a look at our relationships and make promises to ourselves to make improvements. We will make more effort to be there for the people in our lives, we will try to forgive more easily and we will say the things we feel more often.

It is easy to ignore that nagging voice in our heads. It is easy to tell ourselves we will do it tomorrow. No matter who you are or where you are in your life there is always room for improvement. There is always something that you can do better. Usually a few things that you need to do better…..and you know it.

You know it - but you think there is time.

Time is not guaranteed.  

So do it today.

Don’t put it off.

And if you are lucky enough to get a warning….do something with it!