haunted house

So a girlfriend and I happened to find out about a haunted house located a few hours south of town and then we discovered that it was also a bed and breakfast! Clearly we had to go!  I called the next day to book our overnight get-a-way! The only date that was available was a Friday the Thirteenth…….spooky!  A month and a half later we were on our way to the Haunted Mansion and what is probably the strangest 24hrs of my life (thus far)

We both had to work, so we got away later in the day, planning to get to our destination by 8:00 - just enough time to get a good look around before the sun went down.  A fellow co-worker told us to try out a new restaurant he thought we might like that just opened in one of the towns along the way. The weather was beautiful, the conversation was flowing and we were sharing the road with a whole bunch of classic cars! When we got to town the streets were full of people with lawn chairs camped out to watch, what we found out later was a weekend long car show!  The cars cruise up and down the street and then race the quarter mile later and meet for a show and shine on Sunday! I tried to convince my cohort to stay and take in the show, but she was having none of it! 

The restaurant was packed (due to the car show) so we pulled up a stool at the bar, ordered a drink and ordered some food. The cute boys behind the bar kept us entertained while we waited…..and waited….and waited. I wish I could tell you the food was great at this place, but an hour later when the cute boys informed us our food would be another ten or twenty minutes we left without having eaten. At least we didn’t have to pay for our drinks!

Back on the road on our way to the haunted mansion we were in good spirits and feeling fine! Lack of dinner wasn’t going to bring us down! We had two bottles of wine in the trunk and were off to spend the night in a haunted house! Twenty minutes later we pulled into the teeny weeny little town that we would be spending the night in! Knowing that snacks were a must, we popped into the market, which is also the movie rental place, the post office, the gas station and the restaurant! All that was missing were the banjos! After we were fully stocked up on snacks and water we make the final trek to our haunted destination.

When we pull up I immediately get nervous!! What are we doing? This is a bad idea! We should go.  But we are here now so we may as well get this over with!

We walk up to the door and are just trying to decide whether or not anyone heard us knocking when this petrified albino man comes from out of nowhere looking very confused. We ask him if he works there and he is telling us that no he just went on the tour when his girlfriend pops out from behind the house looking just as scared and confused.  I immediately think that he must have got scared and ran out leaving her in there by herself and I silently judge him. Then the door flies open (think Kramer in Seinfeld) and this frazzled looking woman is standing there. She says “you must be my overnight guests” and although I feel like screaming and running away, instead I nod and say “yes we are”…..here we go! 

She tells us we are going on the tour and asks us to sign the guest book, telling us it will be easier to fill out the toe tag in the morning. I know she is joking, but when I look up at her – she isn’t smiling and again, I feel like running.  She opens the door and in we go….well in goes my girlfriend with me following closely behind holding onto her purse strap so she can’t get away from me. I am immediately anxious. Something is jumping out at me for sure….or worse something is going to grab me, and then BAM she smacks the wall and we both scream! “Jumpy hey girls” she says…..I believe this is when I dropped my first “f-bomb”. So we go through the main floor and it isn’t too bad, I can handle this, I am not enjoying how she keeps disappearing on us but so far, it isn’t too bad.

Then we come to the basement or dungeon as they call it. She says “ok ladies down you go” and my friend says “yeah right, you go first” I turn around to laugh and the lady is gone. Gone. We are standing at the top of the stairs about to go into a dungeon in a completely weird house and the lady who brought us to this stairwell is gone. Second “f-bomb” is dropped now…..followed by four or five more. I tell my friend that there is no way I am going first, I will follow her but I am also fine with leaving right now , getting a hotel and going back to the town with the car show.

No deal. Down the stairs we go. 

I think I may have blacked out most of this…..seriously it was that scary. All I remember is a lot of swearing and saying how bad of an idea this was, then we end up at four doors and the lady is back telling us we need to pick a door in order to get out. Obviously I am not touching a door, my friend tells me that I am a baby and that she is going to go back to work and tell everyone how much of a chicken I am. I am completely fine with this. In fact, if she isn’t going to try the doors I am completely fine just standing here all night.  Of course the last door she picks is the doorway into the next room. 

You would think this would be a relief….you would be wrong. The fourth doorway leads into complete darkness. Complete darkness. We make our way through the remainder of the dungeon and to a doorway, on the other side of the door…….daylight! I am very happy to be back out into the daylight and I am even happier that I haven’t wet myself!  And now I totally get why that guy ran out of there without his girlfriend - I immediately take back my prior judgment of him.

“Ok we can go now” - were the next words out of my mouth, followed by,“no seriously, we can go. I don’t think I can stay here – this may have been a bad idea”

No deal.

We grab our bags out of the car and head back into the house. It doesn’t seem as scary with the lights on, and you can actually see the beauty that this early 1900’s two-story offers. You can also see the amount of time and money these people have put into this place to make it a haunted mansion. After a quick bathroom break where we learned there was no working sink in the bathroom, we met up in the dining room for a much needed shot of tequila.

The night just gets totally weird after this.

After turning down the offer to go into town for a night at the bar where her husband is a bouncer, we were left alone in the backyard to light a bon fire while our hostess left to go pick up some random kid who was walking along the highway. While in the backyard giggling about the situation we had found ourselves in we noticed a miniature railroad complete with a grain elevator, a station and a set of tracks. When they got back the young girl took off and out of nowhere she returned with four miniature horses following her. 

As much as I was hoping one of the trains would pull out of the station with a midget dressed up as a engineer, or that a midget would come out riding one of those little horses on a little saddle with a cute little mini cowboy hat, that did not happen. (sure would have been cool though!), A lot of mosquitoes, some pretty weak ghost stories, and a ufo streaking through the sky which I guess could have been a meteor took up the rest of our time outside. Time for bed and after two bottles of wine, no supper, lots of excitement and a dress up party at 2 am we had a very sound sleep. Other than the original tour and brushing my teeth with the water from the faucet in the bathtub, the house didn’t seem that creepy. 

A beautiful morning greeted us complete with a breakfast of green eggs and ham! We thanked them for the interesting evening and got out of there! The ride home was great, filled once again with good conversation, nice weather and we even managed to stop at a few garage sales! 

It was a great adventure and I am glad I was able to share it with a great friend! As long as she will agree to go first, I look forward to our next haunted mansion adventure!